sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
