Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize