Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.

Fav 22 747 3534
share tweet
(917): View more from New York City

i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.

Fav 6 1076 4076
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(405): View more from Oklahoma

I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!

Fav 43 5334 1203
share tweet
(209): View more from California

You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.

Fav 23 2484 7178
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(714): View more from California

when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow

Fav 14 1128 5686
share tweet
(847): View more from Illinois

This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.

Fav 12 4370 1376
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(603): View more from New Hampshire

I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?

Fav 3 536 913
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(703): View more from Virginia

Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up

Fav 0 65 17
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again

Fav 0 5 37
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT