My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.