fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
