Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night