Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(352): View more from Florida

Billy Mays is dead too!

(1-352): View more from Florida

Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs

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(352): Billy Mays is dead too! (1-352): Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs http://tfl.nu/okmt

Replies (11) Good night (2171) Bad night (757)
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(770): View more from Georgia

I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.

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(770): I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass. http://tfl.nu/0fum

Replies (48) Good night (1102) Bad night (3167)
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(801): View more from Utah

Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail

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(801): Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail http://tfl.nu/5fc6

Replies (47) Good night (4746) Bad night (1127)
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(407): View more from Florida

I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.

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(407): I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule. http://tfl.nu/aidv

Replies (6) Good night (2666) Bad night (823)
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(831): View more from California

I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"

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(831): I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency" http://tfl.nu/zhku

Replies (9) Good night (4142) Bad night (1109)
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(804): View more from Virginia

i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song

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(804): i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song http://tfl.nu/watz

Replies (29) Good night (4185) Bad night (1388)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree

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(215): i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree http://tfl.nu/vm1y

Replies (2) Good night (1636) Bad night (979)
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(845): View more from New York

I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that

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(845): I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that http://tfl.nu/j3rv

Replies (7) Good night (1740) Bad night (1206)
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(804): View more from Virginia

of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.

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(804): of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed. http://tfl.nu/rret

Replies (2) Good night (1588) Bad night (671)
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(620): View more from Kansas

Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.

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(620): Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like. http://tfl.nu/q54q

Replies (10) Good night (1824) Bad night (1329)
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(443): View more from Maryland

according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)

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(443): according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :) http://tfl.nu/n706

Replies (3) Good night (988) Bad night (371)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.

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(503): I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today. http://tfl.nu/x4c9

Replies (3) Good night (563) Bad night (365)
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(518): View more from New York

So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"

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(518): So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?" http://tfl.nu/8ua3

Replies (2) Good night (401) Bad night (615)
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(302): View more from Delaware

I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.

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(302): I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats. http://tfl.nu/iukq

Replies (1) Good night (658) Bad night (313)
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(310): View more from California

Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)

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(310): Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:) http://tfl.nu/5k85

Replies (0) Good night (170) Bad night (267)

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