miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
