I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Even my vagina gasped.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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