dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
