so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
