Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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