yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
