no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
That was an excessively violent trivia night
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize