I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Need sex. Gaining weight.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
