Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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