Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
