Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
