D3 body, D1 cock
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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