and next time when you feel me up, do it right
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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