both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
