Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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