She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize