I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
