is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
