Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
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