Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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