never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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