sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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