Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
