just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
