It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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