You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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