Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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