he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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