I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
