Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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