he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
