Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
