Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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