Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
