he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
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She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
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