would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
