the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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