I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
i've created a new STD.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
