The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
