i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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