i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
