You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
