Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
