Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize