hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
