I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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