In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
