She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
