Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
