i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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