Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
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please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
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Can you bring me the toilet please
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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