i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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