Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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